Divine Assertiveness and Awakening the Flame Within
Divine Assertiveness | Awakening the Flame Within
This is a deeply personal yet universally relevant exploration of a concept I call Divine Assertiveness—a necessary balance of strength and sensitivity for anyone walking a spiritual path in this chaotic world. It was born from lived experience and inner revelation, and it speaks to the urgent need for spiritually grounded self-protection, sovereignty, and discernment.
Divine Assertiveness refers to acting accordingly with a Divine reality in a situation that demands action for the fulfillment of its Plan and whatever is required to fulfil it. It’s an idea that I developed during a certain critical period in my life, as a contrast to my current approach that didn’t seem to be working, at least in these contexts.
From Innocence to Fierce Compassion: A Hard-Won Lesson
I was emphasizing being peaceful, loving toward everyone, kind, and compassionate—all those good ingredients you’ll need to be a proper ‘mystic’, isn’t that right? Yes, definetly, if they are not weaponized against you. These are just natural qualities that shine forth when established in clarity. It's ultimately the way, but must be combined with strenght and boundaries. I was naïve, sharing what I had maybe too openly, offering my energy and heart irresponsibly. I was like a pollyanna who thinks everything’s great. Maybe I was inspired by certain ideals. This goodness is not something to strive for, our blockages need striving to be removed—our true nature only need to be released.
However, I was lacking something, and that became evident as I constantly had to learn uncomfortable lessons, such as being run over by sadistic emotional predators, helping without genuine reciprocity and becoming drained, and, in general, being too naïve about the world, which does embody certain wrong–even potentially soul wrenching-wrong. Energetic parasitism, as it were. Evil is the energy of the Source of all reached its furthest extent in delusion. It's this obsessive unhealthy drive motivated by a sense of lack—a common aspect of the cocktail called lost touch. This is where we can’t control the ‘satanic’ movement out of the center, it pulls the strings.
The Issue in God vs Satan–thinking
I wish this not to be associated with any religious interpretations of the concept—as the fight between God and Satan has been weaponized, and can have origins in manipulation. When you’ve been predisposed to pick between two extremes—and there might even be an authority figure involved or a time limit involved—that’s most likely deceptive. But if you could choose, what would you choose? I am certain that everybody would choose the highest outcome, and that’s what we call God. It's not an obsessive performance, but a way of being at peace and living in the highest way.
When Helping Backlashes
Did you know that there’s a direct connection between kindness and illness? Number one rule of mine is ‘don’t rescue, empower’. I learned this the hard way.
The Loving Lord sometimes puts its children to go through real trials which are real and nothing removes it from happening. It is sometimes, only through this process that one can win over the blessings of Heaven. It hurts so much, but is full of love... I’ve learned to embrace everything—yet, this isn’t an invite to give me stuff to embrace. Alas! So in a way, when we don’t rescue, we allow individuals to grow throughout their divinely assigned trials. And also when we are not being rescued, it's a gift.
We can be kind while holding onto our boundaries and sense of proportion.
Navigating a Complex World
This world doesn’t fail to surprise with its oscillating light and shadow—a world in which not all people yet speak a love language, even if you do. How, then, are we to relate to the world, if, on one hand, we should be kind and loving toward everyone, yet risk becoming overly soft and agreeable when we should, instead, be tougher and stand up for ourselves? On top of this, if we happen to divert from toxic positivity, we get attacked by these very same systems, claiming us selfish and cruel. Objectivity is not cruelty. Yet, on the other hand, if we become too tough, we lose our sensitivity and become lifeless and inert robots. Interestingly, we are already arriving to the importance of always being a middle thinker.
Divine assertiveness embodies relaxation and strength at the same time. It’s not being a raging fool—it’s releasing the inner security from the Life-dynamo of Divine strength available to anyone who sincerely tries and gives themselves permission for it to land.
The Importance of Balance
My answer to this predicament is balance. We need balance and a sense of proportion. Balance of reason and feeling is essential. If we are solely guided by reason, we turn into robots, and judge that which is outside of reason—often forgetting that humans are not machines, but spirit-emotional beings. And that spirituality is not rigid. There are people who don't have any connection to feeling and vice versa—people who have lost touch with reason. If we act solely under the influence of feeling, we risk becoming erratic, as the world offers endless emotional stimuli, and emotions are labyrinthine and complex. If we act solely under the influence of reason, we lack something important, too.
It’s great to be peaceful, compassionate, and loving—those are indeed qualities of the Self, the Life, but this Self embodies other qualities as well. Such as those that are aimed to serve protective functions as a means to protect the indwelling Goodness. These functions are important.
Why Do Defense Mechanisms Exist?
Life is a master protector because it loves itself so much that it’ll do its absolute best to keep itself safe. These days many people get a mental diagnosis due to their issues that, if properly addressed, would dissolve because their nature is understood instead of getting an inadequate diagnosis and a pill. A pill that doesn’t solve the problem that could be solved if understood. Mankind must strive to understand, since we are all here learning that. If we understood everything, we wouldn't have come here in this world to learn and understand more deeply. We’re here learning something. Everybody has a lesson they’re confronted with until they understand the mechanic. We are thus also taught not to be idiots.
We go through experiences—good, bad, and mixed—and these experiences leave an imprint. Depending on the severity of their life-threatening qualities, protective mechanisms are created. People’s problems are often tied to unresolved trauma, defenses built around protecting those traumas, and a long history of cultivating this dynamic. Over time, this creates momentum—a momentum that, even now, is getting the best of mankind. But remember, this problem theme is sensitive, since many of us have been told that we are the problem. You are not the problem.
So in a nutshell, we have all these experiences and ways to cope with them... When these coping mechanisms become extreme, we are talking about something that, in this culture, is addressed as diagnosis, or at least something like that. No one should be chronicly pathologized but listened to and understood. But, if you do this, fall not in the hook of empathy drainers.
Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) is a cognitive bias where people tend to overemphasize personality traits or intentions while underestimating external circumstances when explaining others' actions.
Now getting back to the actual topic: Assertiveness and protection. Let’s go even so far and call it Divine, too. What does assertiveness have to do with being Divine? Doesn’t Divinity refer to being kind, loving, compassionate, peaceful, etc.? I’d say that ultimately, yes. Those are the most essential qualities for a person intent upon awakening.
The thing is, however, that the assertive side of things gets often overlooked, because it is associated with anger and darkness in certain circles of spiritual practitioners because it indicates ‘rajasic’ activity—or 'sin' in some other circles. Yet, the truth remains that synergistic cooperation between the gunas produces inclusive, Divine results. For without the gunas, which format all existential reality the Spirit couldn’t come to know itself in its entirety. But Divine Assertiveness is not rajasic, it’s outside of classifications–it’s surgically precise, does not waver, but elicits radiant, warm strength and confidence.
The Drama Triangle and Victim Mentality
The Drama Triangle is a psychological model developed by Stephen Karpman that describes the roles people adopt in social dynamics. It consists of three roles:
Victim – Feels oppressed.
Persecutor – Blames or criticizes the victim.
Rescuer – Tries to save the victim, even at the expense of their own needs.
Victim Mentality
Victim mentality is characterized by feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, avoidance of responsibility, and dependence, to name a few. Fundamentally, it is a state of disempowerment, perhaps due to past experiences or even habitual engagement in life-negating activities and the consequences that followed. We live in a cause-and-effect universe where our future is shaped by our choices—whether forced or freely made.
The victim sees themselves as helpless, stuck, and unable to change their circumstances. They believe that life unfairly happens to them, rather than recognizing their ability to take action or accept things as they unfold. But all this makes sense, since for a person to become deeply victimized, there is usually trauma—a lot of trauma. Few people consciously choose to be like this.
In nature, everything has a tendency to polarize—the victim mentality is a polarization in opposition to the rescuer mentality. It’s like being pushed to a corner and staying there staring in the nook. It’s difficult to say which came first, much like the classic “chicken or egg” dilemma. But regardless of origin, we are still dealing with polarized roles within the drama triangle dynamic...
Why Does It Exist?
Think about the world: religion, politics—even sports! These fields are permeated by the drama triangle. Victim mentality is closely linked to our exiles—emotionally charged imprints filled with raw emotions, buried deep within us due to traumatic events we were unable to integrate at the time. These unresolved emotions cause issues on a conscious level until they are addressed. Our world is exile-driven, which is why there is so much distraction, so much running away from pain and silencing those that are happy, because they trigger those enslaved exiles.
When we carry unprocessed and difficult emotions, we easily feel like victims. We carry emotional burdens that drive the unconscious search for a rescuer—whether in politics, spirituality, romantic relationships, or the workplace. When we have not healed our inner exiles, we view life through a wounded lens, seeking an external figure to rescue us from our feelings of helplessness. A perfect plug for the leaking hole, right?
The truth is, each person has the ability to activate the evolutionary healing power within themselves—that is the real Rescuer. That is what allows us to awaken beyond the drama triangle system and the issues that follow.
Our world is full of exiled people. In fact, many people identify with their exiled state as their main source of identity, which creates immense stress. When people feel exiled from their own power, they look for a rescuer to lift them up—or a persecutor to reinforce their victim narrative. This dynamic, unfortunately, invites polarized roles—the rescuer being just as trapped as the victim, though in a different way. All three roles—victim, rescuer, and persecutor—are simply different poles of the same dysfunctional pattern.
Think about political campaigns. Why do people elect certain leaders? Many politicians portray themselves as the perfect rescuer, appealing to victimized masses. Some nations are filled with disheartened people who feel too helpless and exhausted to take action or think critically for themselves. That’s understandable. And what do they seek? The perfect rescuer. Or the perfect numbing? A perfect relief?
When a population trapped in a victim mentality perceives someone as their ultimate savior, they become sold. What follows is a self-fulfilling cycle, an endless loop that ensures each party remains bound to their role and keeps being faithful. Why go willingly to hell?
A demoralized mass seeks salvation. A charismatic leader appears, promising prosperity, justice, and a bright future. And there we go again. This dynamic has been at the core of some of the most inhumane experiments and monstrous acts in human history.
I believe that decoding this dynamic is key to self-thriving and, in the long run, the annihilation of evil itself.
Two Types of People Victim Mentalities Seek
Rescuers – People perceived as ideal saviors
Persecutors – People perceived as ideal oppressors.
Victims seek rescuers to validate their helplessness and provide emotional or material support. They see rescuers as selfless heroes who will protect them, fixers who will solve their problems, and unconditionally supportive figures who won’t demand change. Isn't that comforting? And when you don’t rescue and choose health, they might say: 'Jesus (an ideal saviour) wouldn’t do that.'
Truly ridiculous.
In relationships with rescuers, victims often become dependent, avoiding personal responsibility. They may manipulate through guilt or neediness to keep the rescuer engaged. If the rescuer sets a boundary or refuses to help, the victim may turn against them, and become the persecutor: “You don’t really care about me!”
Rescuers engage in this dynamic because they feel needed and validated by “saving” others, believing that helping makes them morally superior—or fearing being perceived as selfish, or the worst—non useful! And that’s what nobody wants to be: selfish and non-useful. However, over time, they often feel drained and resentful, sometimes shifting into the persecutor role: “You never take responsibility!” or “After all I’ve done for you, you refuse to grow!”
To step out of the victim role, one must shift from reacting to responding, from blaming to taking responsibility, and from seeking external rescue to self-empowerment. The key is self-awareness and recognizing that true freedom comes from within. Each person has the power to awaken the evolutionary healing energy within themselves, rather than unconsciously assigning others to these roles permanently.
Interestingly, victims also seek persecutors to confirm their belief that life is unfair and they are powerless. They perceive persecutors as tyrants who mistreat them, barriers to happiness, and proof that their suffering is justified. Victimized persons often attract controlling or critical people who reinforce their powerlessness, project persecution onto neutral people by interpreting boundaries as personal attacks, or even provoke people into persecutors through passive-aggressive behavior, self-sabotage, or boundary violations—creating conflict where they can continue playing the victim. It’s for some, a sick game.
Persecutors engage in this dynamic for different reasons—some enjoy power and control, while others feel forced into the role after being blamed or attacked by the victim. Some persecutors even start as rescuers, but exhaustion and frustration eventually lead them to shift into a more aggressive or critical stance.
The Drama Triangle in Spirituality
The Drama Triangle has plagued spiritual paths throughout history. If present in a teacher-learner dynamic, this pattern intensifies the delusions of both parties: the victim becomes overwhelmed by helplessness, while the rescuer elevates themselves to a grandiose savior complex and is placed on a pedestal. Neither is truly liberated, but compresses like a one way tightening knot. But beyond this, a healthy teacher-learner dynamic can occur. Beyond the drama triangle.
When the rescuer feels unable to help the eternal victim, frustration builds, leading to persecution. In the end, the victim’s faith may be severely shaken or, at worst, lost entirely. Then, the victim might become the persecutor, blaming the rescuer for failing to save them. ‘You never help me!’ And this awakens the rescuer's instincts like a drop of blood awakens the shark's hunger from 11 km away. This is the truth for hammerhead-sharks.
And so the cycle continues.
Seems like a trap? It is.
Why Call It Divine?
What’s the thing with giving things a title ‘Divine’? It symbolizes that we are on a spiritual path and that we are spiritualizing that which we are calling Divine. Many of you have probably heard about ‘Divine Friendship’, ‘Divine Feminine’–Divine anything, I’m sure you get the point. It refers to something that is superior to the ordinary—a kind of higher class of the given subject. Whenever we give something the title ‘Divine’, it means that we are thinking in a Divine context, for there are many contexts. This is the Divine context—it points to transcendence. Then there are mundane, social, and profane contexts, all of them equipped with their own characteristics. Our concern now is the Divine context–the realm of ultimate truth, higher consciousness, sacred meaning, and spiritual transcendence where everything is seen as interconnected, meaningful, infused with higher purpose.
Why am I talking about this? Many spiritual people, particularly those inclined towards certain traditions, interpreting the teachings incorrectly, doesn’t see so much meaning or higher purpose in other realms of existence than the disembodied, transcended states and they thus forget certain important things that hold a significant value, such as sense of identity, self-protection (which is ultimately Self-protection), ability to face life in general, and being able to commune with people etc. Their form, which supports their enlightenment withers away and gets eaten by energetic parasitism while they claim, it’s just the mind. Just the mind, huh? It’s the fruit of the Great Tree.
When we truly awaken, we start to understand everything as Divine, from the calm depths of transcendence through the stormy processes of cosmic manifestation from the stone, tree, bird, mammal, human, then an angel—back into full cosmic awareness. What’s interesting in some philosophies is that they say that ‘nothing phenomenal touches it’s source (what an inaccurate opinion), and that’s what we are striving to know, so nothing really matters.’ First of all, can we strive to know the absolute? We can only strive to calm ourselves to know that we are rooted in the absolute, and is that striving then? I wouldn’t say so, because if you strive, you’ll become a striver, which interferes with receiving heavens peaceful hand. The thing is: everything is one, and all layers of reality support each other in a cohesive fashion–everything is alright. Completely all right. We have to learn to cope with the paradoxical nature of Life. It’s all one, but it appears as two, too. We need not to call it one or two either, since two exists for a contrast for one and vice versa. Be an alchemist! Live your contradiction-less life!
Alchemists Reflection from the Christian Mystics:
‘Jesus said to them,
When you make the two one,
and when you make the inside like the outside,
and the outside like the inside,
and the above like the below,
and when you make the male and the female into a single one,
so that the male will not be male and the female not be female,
when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image—
then you will enter [the Kingdom].”
“When you make the two one”
This is referring to unification of duality where spirit and matter is no longer seen as separate, but seen as one reality. We want to look at all phenomena as indicators of the Supreme Cause–just like a product which embodies its origin for that is the truth of things. Some spiritualists claim that nothing comes from the Supreme. A great way of avoiding everything, that’s thought of as ‘not supreme’. Everything comes from That and extends into it.
“When you make the inside like the outside, and the outside like the inside”
This refers to inner truth matching outer action without hypocrisy, no division. Your external world tends to reflect your inner state. When we start to awaken, wonders happen. We could be just sitting in meditation, not worrying about a thing, and yet find our lives permeated by good fortune. That’s how Life can sometimes work. However, I myself believe in bad luck, too. Not every time when your outer conditions are not optimal is it because ‘you are thinking wrong’. Sometimes, we experience bad luck and that sucks.
“When you make the above like the below, and the below like the above”
This is similar to Hermetic teachings ("As above, so below")—macrocosm and microcosm are connected.
The spiritual and material worlds are not separate—they are reflections of each other.
Enlightenment emerges when we erase the distinction between the “higher” and the “lower”—seeing all as Divine. And anything that is delusive doesn’t exist, so why talk about it? Real material isn’t binding–if the world gets associated with stuckness, it’s a sign of curable spiritual dysfunction. The world is really the movement of the Source in motion as Spirit, but the binding aspect isn’t real. I don’t know, I can’t tell you what that is. I believe in God. Not a religious God that has been patriarchalized–but God the God. Not a person: GOD. Indeed, how much better is to actually know than to merely believe.
“When you make the male and the female into a single one, so that the male will not be male and the female not be female”
This refers to transcending gendered polarization resulting in obsession and moving into sacred androgyny–a state of synergistic cooperation and balance within. I will be writing about this theme. I trust it will be protected and stay out of misuse!
A large, but often overlooked and diminished aspect of awakening because of patriarchal and dualistic systems is alchemising what seems ‘two’ into a unified whole. This is spiritual.
On top of this, we do have a soul gender, or gender identity which is an energetic-ethereal energy-mixture feeling originating from the soul's expression, and this is not entirely dictated by definitions the world labels on us. This is because what the body does is dictated by rules outlined by a system and happens due to the accident of birth. But our true nature can’t be contained within a system fully. This ethereal feeling is the person's actual Self. Each soul is sacred, not a robotic system but working within a really specific energy mixture suited for that soul's dharma purpose. How weird it indeed is to come to this world as a soul and have some stamp planted on one's forehead which dictates what that undefinable mixture is. This is a type of spiritual lobotomy. I think we are all a bit undefinable. Mankind is just too afraid of mysteries—it wants to have a logical explanation to everything. Life is not logic—paying bills is. But you weren't made to pay bills altough that's usually a part of life.
“When you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image”
The meaning of this is highly intuitive, yet simple. It’s like the statement: birds live in the sky, fish in the sea and humans on the land (while rooted in the heavens). What’s so difficult in this? By wearing the right size gloves, the hand fits. When everything is at its right place, there is no struggle. People often make spirituality complicated, when in reality it’s about proper alignment. It results in alignment.
The Three Pillars of Divine Assertiveness: Presence, Boundaries and Protection
Presence
Presence is important because when we are present, we don’t thrift away from attunement to the presence, which any worthwhile action requires for its fulfillment. There is no time in time called the present, presence points to the silent and supportive field beneath time. And when we are attuned there we may function in time as if merely playing with it.
When present our powers of discernment, reasoning and feeling are correctly used to perform the task at hand. Whereas when not present, which is usually due to distraction, our forces are directed to them instead where they should be. Our thinking, acting due to thinking, and all that follows requires power—it does not come from nothing—it comes from the inner dynamo of life force—the presence fountain full of nectar. This is why presence is key in Divine Protection, since it’s subtle—it’s not in the shaking and shouting. This type of protection isn’t impulsive, it’s surgically calm, a kind of allowing to be strengthened by Christ (immanent consciousness and Light in all that is and will be). When present, we don’t mess around, we act under Divine grace. That’s where all protection comes from. When you walk with Life, you’re Good, always.
Some traditions teach that nothing comes out of this Self, and that everything ‘outside’ of it is seemingly not it. But still, this Self preserves everything, like a string of pearls holding them all together—a multitude of universes and planets working cohesively, all peopled with intelligent life forms.
Also, there is actually a long list of Self-qualities, qualities that bloom from within when in Self. The ultimatest aspect of Self is the Cosmic Sovereign and it will also protect its Queen, even with intensity if necessary. I’ve observed this in advanced people—I’m glad they were harsh on me back in the day and I'm glad that I have properly set boundaries, too.
There are serious misinterpretations around this, but Queenly Seekers should also fight hard, and that represents the Self, since it comes from the need to realize it and to avoid that which is delusive. Intensity directed towards a good cause is far from anger, it’s justice. Anger is more like being a raging fool.
In truth, it is through the unification of all necessary steps of cosmic creation that the full picture and coherence can emerge.
Things are relatively real while tuned in—like a dream is real when dreaming, but stops once awakening—rendering the previous unreal, and the new state real. There are different levels to this great experience. Everything is It. But since we change constantly and teleport through different states, the key lies in knowing the seer beneath all these changes, while identifying with the current reality as if playing a role, as if merely performing a Lila. That’s a debtless experience in the present.
Boundaries
Boundaries are the personal limits, and restrictions you set to maintain your well being within interpersonal realms. Boundaries state where your responsibility ends and others begin. If within us dwells the Sacred Life (as that is true), boundaries are essential for the protection of this essence. People tell you that, you don’t want to be selfish, for that’s obviously selfish, and it’s a sin! But I believe we need to be some what spiritually selfish, and also be attuned to our individual nature unapologetically—then merge together as self aware individuals, like riding the same wave, never arrogantly.
Boundary setting is Divine Assertiveness in action—setting holy limits to protect what’s holy. Many masters have often walked away, or said ‘no’ or ‘enough’. Ramana Maharshi was known to have stopped talking when rudely confronted.
Spiritual boundary setting isn’t raging, it’s defending peace without aggression—precisely.
Divine assertiveness is the wisdom to say yes to what's holy, and no to what harms—even when others don't understand.
You're not crazy...
Protection
The reason why I included this as last is because protection is instinctual and arises spontaneously. The Source protects, preserves and truly loves every being. Wouldn’t it then make sense to master presence and boundaries first? Presence is the field from which the power of protection arises and boundaries are the limits you set which allows this process to work within a contained framework. If you have no boundaries, it’s hard to be present because being invaded energetically disrupts peace. When you are present it’s easier to set boundaries, quiet, still, godly boundaries. Let Life set 'em’ for your best advantage. What we are aware of can’t control us—in the quiet knowing of truth you already set boundaries, eliciting protection by a force far greater than you can understand. Some call it Christ, but with this, we have to be careful of the different associations with this concept. This Christ–energy acts instinctively for the benefit of all creatures, if these faculties aren’t blurred or avoided in the name of spirituality.
Divine Rage
There’s a saying, who, but God bears the burdens of the cosmos? There are many aspects of divinity, but sometimes, it’s as if the Lord rages to promote Life. It’s just like in the example of the story where Jesus knocked the temple tables to the ground. I think this is partly where the punishment-themes of Christianity come from. It was about justice and equality, not about wanting to punish people.
The State of Upashama – Peace Beneath
The State of Upashama which means equanimity amidst external chaos serves as a typical example of the state of upashama, where the mind is undisturbed by external circumstances.
‘A Self-realized person is at peace whether they are amidst activity or not, or even if they seem agitated. They know their inner state to be unbound by phenomena, and they thus act accordingly in the Lords drama.'
In the book Vasistha Yoga, a Self-realized sage (jivanmukta) is depicted as someone whose inner tranquility remains unshaken, regardless of external appearances or activities. Even when such a person seems agitated or is actively engaged in the world, their inner peace persists. This, for them, is based on comprehensive, permanent knowing. This knowing can't be undone for them, ever.
Closing Reflection
✨In Divine Assertiveness – let the flame awaken in your every cell, sealing what’s sacred, never allowing any misguided philosophy derail you from your autonomy—you will need it.
Līlā Zenith
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